A new year is upon us. Time to think about and carve out some new endeavors and adventures we want for this year; some goals and dreams to go for.
New things involve – you guessed it – Risk-taking. “And the day came when the wish to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin
Are we prepared to blossom this year and take some risks?
Without being an active player in our lives and taking on new challenges and things that are important to us, that resonate with our values, that are on our bucket list, that tap into our interests, we risk facing the biggie known as Regrets.
As Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”
I recently read the book, The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die, by John Izzo. I highly recommend it. It’s not at all the typical self-helpy book. It’s a beautiful book on living well gleaned from interviews with ‘older’ people. One very poignant and revealing question he asks in the chapter on Regrets is this: “What might I do differently right now if I were living from the perspective of an old person on the porch looking back at my life?”
I pose this question to all of us as we look out onto a new year ahead of us. Answering this question just may help drive us in the direction of doing some of what we really wish to do, despite those gnawing feelings of fear and doubt.
Failure, setbacks, mistakes are all a part of life and a part of being human. But the sad part is stopping ourselves from reaching for what we want, from going after our dreams and goals, from trying out some of those ‘ify’ things, because of what ‘could’ or ‘might’ happen and because of our fears.
But then regret sets in – “I wish I had; why didn’t I try; I wish, I wish”……. Often times it’s too late to go back and do it.
We can’t allow fear to become more important than what we’re going after. We can accept our fear, say hello to it and then push beyond it and say to it, ‘bye, bye, I’m passing you by now. You can hang out there but I’m getting beyond you.’
Same thing when we’re upset that things didn’t work out as we wanted or planned. Welcome it in, grief it and move on.
I tried to get a book published a few years ago – a memoir on my daughter, Nava’s, year long hospitalization and her three miracles. I had a collaborative writer and an agent actively working on my behalf to try to ‘sell’ the book to a publisher. After about 60 rejections, we called it quits. Now I know that the very first Chicken Soup for the Soul book got about 75 rejections. But we decided to put it to rest at that time. We all worked on this for a year and a half and gave it our all. Naturally, I felt badly that my project failed; that my dream of doing something positive, was not met. But I never regretted for a minute going for it. I obviously didn’t get the outcome I had hoped for, but I went for what was important to me. And that feels good.
Here’s a great quote from an old-timer, Milton Berle. Just read it in my {upcoming} interviewee’s book. (stay tuned for the blog interview Jan. 1st )
“I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I’d rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might-have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.”
In thinking about what you want to do, if not doing it hints of possible future regret, then go for it.
So what will you go for this year? Call upon your courage to stand tall against your fear in order to do…. What??
Wishing everyone a wonderful New Year filled with Health, Joy and Meaning; and the pursuit of your dreams.